Part 1 - Marriage Is A Dirty Word

Enjoy... love Kristina and Zigh =)

“Married? You can’t get married!” Billy shouted, staring in complete disbelief as Tyler Kennedy held his hand out, showing off the small, black, velvet box. The modest diamond ring was perched on top of a thin layer of black silk; shining brightly under the neon lights of the dressing room. “Fuck me!” He groaned, flopping back down onto the bench in front of his stall.

He watched everyone else shower Tyler with their congratulations and words of advice, asking questions about how he was going to propose and when he wanted to ’tie the knot’. Of course Billy wasn’t the only one upset by the news, he caught Max’s attention from across the room and together they rolled their eyes.

Marriage, it was such a dumb concept as far as he was concerned. There was no need for it, ever, especially not when you were twelve or thirteen; or however old Tyler was now. “Come on Billy! We’re going out to celebrate!” the walking-dead-man announced, signalling for him to follow.
Hesitantly he got up, allowing the other guys to move past him as he waited for Max.

“Merde! Pretty soon it’s just gonna be us left.” Max said sadly, shaking his head as he reached Billy.
Nodding Billy turned his eyes towards the exit, watching his team-mates pushing their way through it.



“Biggest. Mistake. Ever!” Max was saying when Billy got back to the table. “If you want to be with her, just get her to move in! Why are you doing this?”

“You better get her to sign a prenup too.” Billy added as he sat back down. “She’s way too hot for you man…”

The rest of the team nodded in agreement as Tyler glowered; but once again it was Max that spoke up. “Seriously. I give it a year.”

“Less…” Billy nodded knowingly.

“Come on guys! Give it up, he’s getting married… just because you two are gonna be single forever doesn’t mean we all have to be.” Sidney said, like always, trying to keep the peace. He said it so horribly though; like staying single forever was a curse as opposed to a choice, a smart choice.

Max grumbled some incoherent words as he caught Billy’s eyes. “Here comes the future Mrs. TK now.”
Billy chuckled as he turned towards the door; a flock of Barbie-like women making their way towards the table.

“Which one is her again? Fucking Christ they all look the same… Maxime buddy, I think I need glasses.” Billy sighed, squinting at the women.

Max pulled his beer bottle away from his mouth and shook his head. “Nothing to do with the face Billy, it’s all about the tits. Just think… money is tits in a woman. The more money, the bigger the tits.” He explained, as the blond gang closed around the table, filling the empty seats. “Sidney makes the most… exhibit A…” Max smirked nodding towards Sidney’s extremely-busty girlfriend. Billy laughed along with some of the other boys, as Max continued. “Same with Geno, of course… then we have Gogo… good guy sittin’ pretty in the middle of the road. Decent rack.” Max nodding approvingly as Emma raised her eyebrows.

“Are you talking about my boobs?” She asked, folding her arms over herself as the girls turned to glare at Max.

“Yah… don’t interrupt me sweetheart… as I was saying...” Max chided, ignoring the female noises of outrage that sounded around the table. “Then you’ve got TK… he’s getting down to the bottom of the barrel and well…” He made a face, pointing his fork at Kelsey; the slender, flat-chest’d girl between him and TK. “…when you get to that point, you can’t fondle anymore, it’s straight pinching.”

“Max!” Several people shouted as Billy chocked - with laughter - on his drink.

“Wait! What about Mario's girl? She don’t got big tits…” Billy asked, leaning across the table as the rest of the guys laughed loudly.

“She’s old though, don‘t forget about gravity.” Max grinned evilly. “You pull those puppies north again and I bet you got more than two hands and a mouth can handle.” Billy howled with laughter, slamming his hand on the table, until tears began to fall down his face.

Kelsey’s death glare was the only thing that stopped him. He composed himself enough to stop laughing, glancing at Max with a warning. Kelsey looked like she was about to flip, but Max ended her anger in it’s traces. “TK’s got something he wants to give you…”

“Starts with ‘E’, ends with, ‘ngagement ring‘.” Billy added, pushing his chair away from the table and chasing after Max as they escaped to the bar.

“You realize ‘engagement’ and ‘ngagement’, sound the exact same, right?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Oh well, she doesn’t look that bright… better to spell it out and get out of there.” He laughed, leaning across the bar and reaching for a large glass.

“And they say we don’t have fun…” Max sighed as he glanced back over his shoulder. TK was sitting - red faced - as everyone stared at him, expectantly. “He doesn’t look too happy, does he?”

Billy looked back too, shrugging it off as he filled his glass with some Rickard‘s. “Eh, she’ll put out tonight and he’ll forget all about it.” Max tilted his head and nodded, slapping his favourite team-mate on the back as he accepted the foaming dark beer.



“Bonjour mon ami!” Max shouted, stumbling towards Billy as he dragged two beautiful women behind him.
Billy grinned, sliding over in the booth to make room for which ever broad Max was going to hand off to him.

It turned out to be a nineteen year old blond girl names Misty. “I think I’m old enough to be your dad.” Billy laughed after a few more drinks had been had.

“Well… I could call you that tonight, if you want…?” She giggled, sliding closer to him and running her finger up his thigh. Billy laughed lightly, shaking his head as he took another sip of beer.

“What makes you think you’ll be calling me anything tonight?” He pressed, grinning across the table at Max and his new friend, who’s hands were inappropriately busy under the table.

“Call it… woman’s intuition.” Billy laughed again, this time throwing his arm around the young girl and reaching for his coat. “Max… It’s been fun, but we’re out. Hate to leave so soon… but I’m pretty sure this girl still has a curfew.”

Max laughed and nodded in agreement as the brunette beside him started to tug on his arm. “I’m with you there… assez de bavardage… let’s get to the fun stuff.”



She shoved her hands into Billy’s front pockets from behind as he unlocked his front door. “I’ve been a naughty girl, you must punish me,” she breathed out just as Billy dropped his keys on the ground.

“Could you back up a little so I can at least get my damn door open. I actually like my neighbors and the fact that they don’t know what my ass looks like, so let me open the damn door first.” She removed her hands from his pockets and stepped back allowing him to retrieve his keys and unlock the door. Once the door was pushed open Billy grabbed onto Misty’s hand pulled her inside.

She grabbed onto the top of Billy’s shirt and one by one pulled the buttons free of their holders. He looked down at her hands before rolling his eyes. He was already half hard, and if he didn’t get it all the way up soon all of this would be a waste of time and energy. Once his shirt was open, it was his turn. He grabbed onto the top of her dress and pulled it down unceremoniously. He pulled her tight to him as he right hand went behind her back to unhook her bra while his left hand pushed down her underwear.

“I thought you’d be more romantic,” she huffed as her bra dropped to the floor and finished pulling her underwear off.

“This isn’t romantic to you? I want to see you naked, I thought being naked was a romantic thing?” She rolled her eyes at him and went to help him discard his clothes, but he had already done that himself. She went in to kiss him but he ducked his head down and diverted his lips to her neck.

He turned her around and pushed her up against the front door. He parted her legs apart with his knee and slipped his hand down and rubbed over her wet mount. He opened his eyes and pulled his lips away from her skin to look down. She was as smooth as an 8-year-old. Not a single hair on her body, minus the blond hair on her head. For a split second he felt like a pedophile, but then her teeth sunk into his shoulder and he was reminded that she was naughty and that she needed to be punished.

She was rubbing her lower stomach against his dick, her hand wrapping then unwrapping around him. He had to get to a condom, and he had to do it quick or else neither him nor Misty would be having any fun. “Hold on, let me go get a condom.”

She stopped her movements and looked at him with a confused look on her face. “Condom? What for?”

“Oh, so you want to get pregnant?” He had to bite his tongue from saying it was more for his protection than hers.

"I thought once a man hits a certain age they don’t produce sperm anymore.” She tilted her head to the side and observed his grey hair. All of his grey hair.

She was confused, but he was in shock. Where the hell did she learn that from? “I have super sperm.”

“Oh, well okay. Hurry back!”

Billy hurried to the kitchen and flung open the silverware drawer where he kept a pack of condoms stashed in the back. He pulled out the box and ripped one off the small roll. As he walked back toward the entry way he checked the expiration date. He sighed in relief as he noticed they were still good for another six months.

Armed and ready to go, Billy pushed Misty up against the door once again and spread her wide with his fingers tips. “You ready to have your world rocked Melody?”

“It’s Misty.”

“Whatever, you want to do this or not?”

“I’m waiting aren’t I?”

That was all he needed to hear to thrust himself up inside of her. Their difference in height made it difficult to find a right angle, and Billy had to spread his legs to find the perfect pace. His thighs began to quiver, but he knew he was no where close to having an orgasm. He typically lasted longer than thirty seconds.


“Jump up and wrap your legs around me,” he instructed to Misty who had her head flung back moaning out in pleasure. She brought her right leg up first, and Billy grabbed onto her ass as she leaped upward to wrap her left leg around him. He pinned her up against the wall again as he found his pace once again, this time much more enjoyable.

“Fuck me harder Billy! C’mon old man!” Misty moaned out as Billy pushed himself to the edge. Thrust after thrust, moan after moan, Billy knew he was close, but Misty didn’t even have the finish line in sight. He dug his fingers deeper into her ass, as he slammed her down on to his cock harder and harder. That was until the shooting pain from his lower back shot down to his legs and he released Misty. He slipped away from the wall and Misty fell to the ground with a loud thump. “What the fuck?”

Billy ignored her as he pushed his hands into his lower back. He sat down on the floor, and then laid down. The pain too unbearable to stay on his feet. “Maybe you should leave,” he suggested as he pinched his eyes shut in pain from his back.

“I should have known. Too damn old to hold your own.” Misty collected her clothes and threw them on quickly before leaving Billy’s house. Slamming the door behind her.

Billy stayed on the ground, scared the move. He could feel his heartbeat in his lower back, and he knew he had thrown it out.


He wasn’t too sure how much time had passed before there was a knock on the door just a few feet away from him. “Who is it?” He yelled out.

“It’s Max!”

“Fuck, come in, but be careful, and maybe keep your eyes closed!” Billy shouted back and the door slowly opened up. “What are you doing here?”

“Holy shit, I thought I’d come check on the old man, make sure you don’t throw your back out with the little blond. Good thing I did, too much Viagra?”

“Go to hell Talbot. Help me up.”

“I’m not touching you, you’re naked.” Max had to laugh as he looked down at Billy’s limp body on the hard wood floor. He held his hand down towards him and slowly helped Billy to his feet. “You need to find yourself an older woman. One who knows how to handle old balls.”

“Thanks for your help and your thoughtful advice, but you can leave now.”